The HeartMath Institute defines Self-Compassion as “love, care and nonjudgmental self-acceptance. That definition is quite beautiful only many people have struggles with the first two and are absolutely unable to comprehend the last one, can you relate?
I was gifted early with the key to self compassion and still it took me close to another 40 years before I really actually got it. Wow! My high school Spanish teach was a very tall German lady who put her face in her hands when we just simply didn’t get what she was teaching. But one of her favorite saying when she mixed up something was to say “that was my first mistake since my last”. It stuck with me because I thought it was funny, but later, I realized how very compassionate she was being to herself; to let herself off the hook.
For those of you out there with the Perfectionist gene, you can probably appreciate my inability to get to non-judgmental self-acceptance. I learned to do loving and caring things for myself, but becoming aware of how hard I was being on myself took time to overcome. But with the assistance of a good spiritual teacher, great spiritual literature, a strong desire to have peace, greater awareness and shear perseverance, the fix was in. Finally, not only can I accept myself, but I can have self compassion for the situations I find myself in and the feelings I have.
An example of the old me was to beat up on myself when something I did, didn’t turn out well. I would question everything and when I discovered my error I would berate myself. The new me, stops and has compassion for the person who made the best plan with the information she had at time. Yes, both my have to deal with the aftermath of things gone wrong, but the latter me is much more pleasant and has peace inside. And she is a lot more fun to be around, right.
So in this month of love I say give yourself the gift of self-compassion and when you screw up remember, it is just your first mistake since your last and the good news is, no one is counting.
Maureen Roe is a Coach, Integrative Energetic Medicine Practitioner, Minister, Author and Speaker helping everyday people feel extraordinary in their lives. If you have questions or further interest in today’s topic or would like some guidance, please feel free to contact Maureen at firstname.lastname@example.org